Limbo

Dear Loyal Readers,

I'm in limbo, at least in my professional life. but instead of talking about that I will discuss other events in my life. I apologize for the infrequent blogs, I get inspired to write during work, but by the time I get home, I usually have lost steam... I hope to write semimonthly from now on....

so here goes... I don't know if George Costanza would approve this blog, but maybe he is more similar to me, than I would care to admit. I have some decisions to make that I've been putting off and more importantly. I find myself noting that sometimes I haven't been the best of friends, and most importantly that I need to work on being a better person.

If my current girlfriend is reading this... Please stop here.... Please!

This first part isn't about you anyways. well not completely. a friend doesn't want to hang out with me any more... I can think of two reasons specifically, but usually when this thing happens it is not the specifics, but just an underlying personality difference... the two reasons being that I went to a party with him and my girlfriend and left him there... He wanted to stay, and I wasn't in a good judgment place. He was drunk. We should have made sure he got home with us.... It was weird, he insisted on staying and we let him even though we knew it was a bad idea.

This was a friend I really respected, even though he has some issues of his own. so tonight I am mourning the loss of a friendship.

And I chose to do this by having a quiet night of reflection, before the big trip to Indiana. I have a red eye getting in Thursday morning. not sure it was the smartest thing to do... especially since recently I have had no trouble sleeping and I've been getting up early. but it was the cheapest flight available. and as always, I have a reputation to uphold.

Before my quiet night of reflection I went on a bike ride to get over the blues. I was disappointed that the US soccer team lost to Ghana today, but not surprised. I didn't think our team was that good. and almost wish I had bet against us. still I was down b/c of the loss until I went on a bike ride... to be honest, I never realize exactly when my mood shifts, it it is never right away on the ride, although sometimes it is just the thought of going on the ride that will do it.

at first I was thinking, George Costanza's Number One Fan be careful, you usually hurt yourself when you are feeling down. so I was cautious, trying to be very mindful on my ride. Paying attention to as many details as possible. confusing at least one car (and driver)... Still I was down for the first fifteen or twenty minutes of my journey. When a hot high school/college girl turned and gave me a dirty look when I called out "passing", it didn't faze me. I was still in a place where I couldn't go to a sad place, I was already there. I think it was when a woman with her son, commented on what a tough hill I was climbing and I tried to respond to her in a socially acceptable way; I must of smiled and that was my mood changer. (for California standards it wasn't that tough of a hill, and as a thirty something male, most high school/college girls seem hot and also not socially acceptable to date. Lastly, I'm pretty sure I didn't respond in an articulate or semi-intelligent way to the lady; nonetheless, I smiled...)

so I finished the ride happy and relaxed...now I just sit in limbo as I wait to hear about my future education and future employment. thinking that even George eventually moved out of his parents' house. I'm just waiting to hear about my future options before doing so.

in my next blog, I plan to make the case that George's many fictional girlfriends aren't that ridiculous. Average-looking men get looks from women, and if that's the case, there is no reason woman aren't interested in dating average-looking guys. Secondly, I will answer the question that everyone has been asking: What do Charles Manson and Osama Bin Laden have in common? The answer will shock you and make our country look even dumber than was previously feared.

Kindest regards, (same sign off the Nigerians' use when asking you for to advance money, because of a rich-deceased relative)

GCNOF