28 February 2009

Resolution fatigue

Every year, I plan on writing more. It's been my new year's resolution for the last few years. Yet here I am, writing quite a few times in January and then totally slacking off. Even people that plan to work out in the New Year usually go to the gym at least through mid-February.

Things are the same here. But different. I always wondered if I would overcome my dark-side thoughts. (more on that later). or whether I would just forget about them or they would magically go away. You know the thoughts about life, what I would do with my life, making decisions. I don't usually stand pat. although I make some good decisions. I. Hereby. Swear. That tomorrow will be different than today. Don't we always say that? Every day I hope to conquer the world, and then something comes up and I go back to my shell or at least near it. (It's not quite as bad as it sounds, over the years I've developed quite a large, roomy shell.) Tomorrow. Tonight, I seriously look into getting out of the parent's house. how long exactly did Costanza, stay with his parents?

on that note... Sorry friends and family on the East Coast. I probably will be relocating to somewhere in the Bay Area, so I can finish my Master's degree. Why? I don't really know. But hopefully soon. ok, realistically, maybe in the next year or two?

It's just so hard figuring out my place in the world, from where I imagined I would be, where I'll actually wind up. I've always wanted to do something great and quite frankly biostatistician or statistician for a psychology program doesn't really fit the bill. Being a teacher, at least you have the potential to do great things. enough of this. For you loyal readers, this is one of the first blogs that wasn't an impulse. I saved it for three weeks before publishing it. Usually when this happens, I don't bother publishing it. consider it a b-side record or an unpublished manuscript, that you get to see, even before I get desperate for money (b-side record) or you know, pass away (unpublished manuscript).

by the way, I've very superstititious about talking about my own mortality. Is it a writing rule I never learned? I hope to never mention it again. and I'm probably making it a bigger deal now, by talking about it again in this paragraph.