Fire season.
Newscast: With the recent brush fire near Vacaville, the air
quality is horrendous. Being outside is obviously, really bad for your lungs. I
hear experts saying being outside with this air quality for 15 minutes is the equivalent damage to
your lungs of smoking five cigarettes.
Hotel commercial: California fire season deals! If you are a
smoker from out of state, come stay at our hotel. Discounted rates for smokers.
Not only can you save on our hotel rates during Fire season, but you’ll also
save on cigarettes! Just no smoking in
the building. Our air quality is so bad, being outside for an hour is the equivalent
of smoking a pack of cigarettes. Just make
sure to go outside for your smoke breaks and breathe deeply, no cigarettes required!
Note, Cigarettes are not included in this deal, but our
terrible air quality is on the house. Stay in our smoking rooms for less ventilation
and even worse air quality than our standard nonsmoking rooms. The memories
you have from your stay will be priceless!
Please note, if the air quality gets into the extremely
hazardous zone, some outside activities might be cancelled.
Warning the air quality can seriously damage your lungs, but
our hotel nor the state of California are not liable for future lung problems like emphysema or lung cancer.
Also, forest fires can be deadly, you’ll want to make sure to book a hotel down
wind from the fires, but not too close to them, in case the wind pattern
changes.
Smokers come to California during Fire Season, save on hotel
rates and cigarettes! Of course, you’ll have to find some other way to look cool
and sophisticated, if you choose not to smoke, but being the suave and cosmopolitan person you are, we are sure you’ll think of
something.
