My Passover In Puerto Rico

Last year and this year were the first years I can remember when I did not make it home for passover. Last year the Jewish Law Student association had a Seder, and I made Matza ball soup for 50. This year I went to the Chabad house's Seder. They rented out a room in one of the fanciest hotels in San Juan, the El San Juan Hotel and Casino. There must have been over a hundred people at the Seder, including 15 or so kids who ran around the whole time. I had fun, and if nothing else the wine flowed like water during the Seder. I sat next to two Israelis who opened moved to Puerto Rico, and opened up a kiosk in the mall selling dead sea beauty supplies. On my other side was a clerk for the 1st Circuit court of appeals. There was also a family visiting their mother, from Buffalo, and a MIlF. Let me start off by saying that I had no idea how hot Israeli woman could be, at least the saphardic ones. I could not tell them apart from the Puerto Rican Jews. I need to go visit the holy-land. At some point I accidentally consumed gifilta fish thinking it was chicken. I quickly learned my mistake, but pretty much finished the fish anyways. However, I have no interest in ever consuming the stuff again. The Rabbi went a little to the conservative side when telling the story of passover. After the usual story he started to talk about Israel, and how we had to love and defend the country no mater what. He harped about the unfair view given of Israel by the other western countries. At one point he mentioned the killing of the Hamas member in Dubai, and how no one really know who killed the man, so it was unfair to point the finger at Israel. The two Israelis at the table looked at me and said it was the Massad, their faces saying duh. I tried to keep my liberal views from getting the best of me and kept my mouth shut. I just wanted to enjoy the Seder. After the meal the family across the table from me decided it was time to leave, and the grandmother, who lived in PR, started handing out her business card. All it said was her name, number, and consultant. I asked the MILF, who seemed to be in the know, who she was. The MILF winked at me, like we were both sharing a joke, and said she would tell me later. It turns out the grandmother was part owner of one of the biggest banks in PR. She is one of us so it clearly came as no surprise. I now have her card, but what would I need her consultation for, unless I wanted to get a loan in PR. Anyway I traded numbers with the Israelis, and hopefully I will hang with them before I go back. P.S. My dick parts the sea.