When Things Come Out The Wrong End- Part Three

We left our story where I was just a high school lad, on a double date with a friend. (For those that need a recap, you can start from the beginning of my four part series, When Things Come Out the Wrong End, you might even have to go to a previous screen, but I hope you find it worthwhile.)

During my college years, at a small liberal arts school ten miles south of Lake Erie and 20 miles southwest of the Cleveland Airport, I didn't partake of alcoholic beverages in excess for the most part. I was busy honing my writing and editing skills at the school newspaper and getting Cs and not failing courses which my parents paid the big bucks for. My school had a pass/no-fail plan (I often took the no-fail option). Who would have thought a A- high school student would turn into a C+/B- student in college? Well, it wasn't because of the drink. But there was this one time....

As a freshman, actually my school didn't have freshman, we had first-years. Because if we did say, happen to sneak on in a freshman, we would also have to sneak in a freshwoman, too. It is much easier to go with the gender neutral first-year. A lesson that was rubbed into me, my first year on the newspaper, (my first-year year).

I played on the ultimate frisbee team as a first-year. I stood on the sideline (we didn't have benches to sit on) and watch my team play, not just during the games, but for some scrimmages in practice as well, even in sub-freezing Ohio winters. It wasn't like I was this over-looked talent. I just wasn't that fast nor than coordinated. But you wouldn't be surprised to find that when thirty first-years came to try out for the team, my sophomore year, that was enough for me. After that, I was the first one off the bench for our water polo team.

Don't get me wrong, it was fun going away to tournaments, especially my first year. I often rode "ultra-bitch". In the trunk of a station wagon, of course. And I got to catch up on my sleep, which I was not getting even as a first-year. Luck for me, we never got into an accident. It would have been gross, I mean I would have been toast.

The team traveled to compete in tournaments in Niagara Falls, Cincinnati, Athens, Ohio, Wilmington, NC, Clemson, SC. We got around.

Our final tournament of the season, was Regionals. If we placed in the top three teams at Regionals, we would go to Nationals. The team goal every year. That weekend, I watched my team lose a few games that deary day in West Lafayette, IN. I don't think I played very much, not that I would have helped our cause. So destroyed, humiliated, vanquished from the tournament.

Our team plan was to get something to eat and get wasted. After eating some Greek food. We went to the liquor store, where I saved some money by buying (in bulk) a forty.

So naturally, we went back to the hotel room. I was given the challenge of finishing my beverage in fifteen minutes. I did it in under seven. Then we went to another room to watch some TV. And for the first and only time in my life, I blacked out.

I woke up the next morning and someone (JB) claimed I threw up in the bathroom. I don't remember it at all. And that day I thought that they were just setting me up to clean up someone else's vomit. We were all drinking right? What' s the likelihood that I was the one that threw up? I think it was several years after I graduated college, that I realized that JB probably wasn't lying. I was the one who missed the toilet, they weren't just hazing me. GCNOF finished college with one puke to his name and a degree, which is sadly more than he can say for grad school.

Get caught up on all the times "Things Came Out The Wrong End," as our series ends with the final installment next week. Find out if GCNOF, loses his lunch as a young adult in the big cities and his adventures on his own.