Spam Sucess Stories Revisited!

Thank you readers for responding to our request for true life spam success stories. We were literally deluged with your letters of concern and support. However, we were hoping for emails of what happened when you replied to internet spam. A couple of you managed to stay on topic so here goes:

Have you ever responded to "Hot Girls" who may "Want to Meet You", and actually met them?

GTT:
I have responded to numerous solicitations to “Meet Hot Girls”, and it has mostly turned out great. The women in question tend to be surprisingly happy to meet me and I have had lots of relations with a variety of highly attractive ladies, very few of whom have later appeared on talk shows. I hide my indiscretions from my wife by telling her I am golfing (I am pretty good) so she has remained more or less blissfully ignorant. That is, until recently when she went a little Babe Ruth on my whip. But I am not too worried. I am a pretty focused person who can usually accomplish whatever task I set my mind to. I am still working out all the angles on this particular issue, but I am confident I can knock this one back onto the green. Or at least continue to see my kids. Maybe on weekends. So, again, not saying it’s totally consequence free, but overall, pretty happy with the whole “Hot Girls Want To Meet You” thing.
Yours, T



Ever gotten free stuff in response to a spam e-mail? Tell us about it.

It sounds too good to be true, but all I had to do was type my credit card numbers, SS# and address into this website: https://www.eswearthisisntas.cam
It turns out I had the winning numbers so now I will be receiving free Viagra and free Breast Enhancement Cream! Seems a little redundant doesn’t it?
-John Gullible


If you are making $100-$200 a day from your home, please let us know how that's going and what you actually do?

It’s true! I make at least this much every day without leaving the comfort of my bedroom, or sometimes my boyfriend drops me off at a motel.
-Peaches


Gotten money from Bill Gates for buying a Windows product? or gotten a free vacation? or gotten to test and keep (for free) the latest in electronic gadgetry?

Dear unwashed masses,

Please, please stop emailing me about this. I mean really…stop it. I know that I am a little smarter than most people, but how dumb do you have to be ? Yet my inbox is clogged every single morning! I have to change my MSN address like twice a week. It is really getting to be a problem. So let me put this out there: don’t ever respond to anything on the internet with the words “Bill, Gates and Free” in it. Please. In fact, unless you are my wife, my girlfriend, my accountant or CEO of a company named after a piece of fruit, then you can feel confident that I don’t want to hear from you. Really. I mean it! Thanks.
-Bill


Has anyone ever been generously given a winning a lottery ticket or been sent money from a dead relative that you didn't know existed, or you hadn't realized currently resided in Nigeria? What are you doing with your millions?

This has all happened to me many times over and some more! You will be happy to meet my positive experiences with TrustTrueNexTechHappyCatCo. TrustTrueNexTechHappyCatCo is the best place for giving them and us your money. TruTrustNexTechHappyCatCo will invest your savings of life in a diversified portfolio of opportunities and risk-chances that could see one or the other of us rich! rIch! RIICH! rR1Ch!!!!! RICH.rtf
-Charles Dickens
Lagos, Nigeria

RIP Frank McCourt

I just realized Frank McCourt passed away this year. July 19, 2009. I wondered if I missed it at the time or just forgot? It was the weekend of my Tahoe Swim Relay.

I read his ob piece in the New York Times.

here it is...

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/20/books/20mccourt.html

I enjoyed his books tremendously. I read all three. Angela's Ashes, 'Tis, and Teacher Man.
If I ever write a memoir it will be because of him. (ok, a little melodramatic; exaggerated.)
I also like how he writes about his teaching. To McCourt! If you haven't read his work you're missing out. No one does childhood or adult life, quite like the Irish. And McCourt captures it beautifully and memorably.

And remember to share with us at Georgetown Tales, your Spam stories. (Georgetown Tales is not liable for any harm to persons, possessions or computers, resulting from investigations into your Spam e-mail. You do that at your own risk. We especially caution against traveling to Nigeria to gain inheritance or to attend funeral proceedings for dead relatives [that are not on your family tree]). Nonetheless, we relish in hearing your stories.

Spam: Internet Success Stories

I write today. First I would I like to thank all our anonymous readers out there, for making it seem like we have more readers than we actually do. Even if you just are trying to get us to by Viagra, or separate us from our money for no worthwhile product. We really need to make it look like this blog is the blog to read.

So (as long as you count on our counter) Spam away!

[I was like 8 comments on my blog. I don't know if I have eight friends that read this blog.]
(as if) R.I.P.B.M.

We, here at Georgetown Tales, know that hot girls (not married to us) don't really want to see us. Unless, we spend lots of money on them or are Tiger Woods (I think even he had to spend lots of money on them, but maybe that's just a rumor). People do not want to give us money for nothing. Nor do they want to give us "free laptops", "free ipods" or "free trips to the Bahamas". Bill Gates doesn't want to help the economy, simply by giving away his money to all Americans. That's just not his style.

People may make $200/day working for home. But I'm not sure how that works. and somehow I know I would wind up on the shorthand of the stick or maybe I would become another Spammer. Besides, I already work for "the man." and the worst part is that my particular "man" isn't doing that well in this economy.

I don't want to try products for free. Because I have a tough enough time ending relationships as it is. and I don't want to go to the hassle of canceling after receiving your product. Plus there is the off chance, you'll charge my credit card. (and thanks S C D), it happened once and took me two months to clear the charges.

But Spammers, Spam away. We have a symbiotic relationship. Readers, if something seems so good that besides your better judgment you have to check it out, go ahead and click on it!

From personal experience, just don't give away your e-mail address and use a public computer. That way if you get a virus, you'll cause problems for a whole public computer system, at the library or a school as opposed to your own.

But don't do it at work, you might get fired.

So Readers, we, at Georgetown Tales, are having a world-wide search.

If you have ever soliticited hot girls, and actually met them or gotten a free product in response to a Spam e-mail. Please let us know. How many other products did you have to buy? how long did it take?

We, here at Georgetown Tales, are very curious. if you are making $100-$200 a day from your home, please let us know how that's going and what you actually do. Gotten money from Bill Gates for buying a Windows product? or gotten a free vacation? or gotten to test and keep (for free) the latest in electronic gadgetry?

And of course, I'm forgetting the big ones: who's been generously given a winning a lottery ticket or sent money from a dead relative? (that you didn't even know you had) preferably one that was living in Nigeria. please share your success story. what are you doing with the millions of dollars?

Loyal readers, in my next week's column I'll write some of internet Spam's success stories. The lottery winners of the internet age. They didn't even need to buy a ticket!

Of course, if you've had a Spam disaster, please tell us to. What happened, what are were the consequences?

You can read our Spam success stories and learn where you went wrong. Maybe you too can meet hot, local, young women or get to test and keep a new flatscreen TV.

Find out what it is exactly that separates Spam disaster from Spam success in next week's column.

(no guarantees, when that column will actually appear).

-GCNOF

writer's block

Things have a way of working out, I was out of work and now have a calculus student. I face a major decision. stay in California and (possibly) finish my Master's in statistics or leave to work as a writer. which maybe in DC or really anywhere.

It would be nice to change just a little bit. stay in California, but become a writer and still finish my Master's Degree in Statistics. moving across the country for a job, sounds kinda of risky, even if it is a place I know, like DC. too bad, I didn't get a writing job while I was living there the first time, maybe I would have never moved back.

DC is probably the most appealing city for me to move. I had quite a few friends in DC. and they have a good ultimate frisbee league. it's close to philly and my other relatives there. I could get back into that. I was happy there. I won't need a car, but I am hesitant to move. I like Lafayette, and California even though I was happy in DC, except about missing home and my social connections in Lafayette aren't that great, mainly old friends that I hang out with. I just like the hills, the weather and the vacation spots (Tahoe, the Pacific, San Francisc0).

I thought I would blog about this. I would like to be a journalist that focused on the science/break down the science for the common folk. I wouldn't have to be the expert. I could bring in other people that really knew the issues, like a statistician with a PhD., but I know enough about it, I think to be able to ask the right questions to an expert.

I think that is what I want to do, be a journalist. at least for today. fight misinformation. encourage children and young adults to value their mind. make thinking cool again. I guess if I am really serious about this, I need to write more.

here's my first blog in ages. I would love the peanut gallery to comment on my blog. stay in CA. move to greener pastures, DC or somewhere else, with a fresh start. I think getting a degree in statistics might help. it would be cool to move out of my parents' house. I'm about the right age for that to happen.

Why Facebook is like high school all over again

Hey it's that time of the month again. Yeah, time for my monthly blog update. Yay. Great. get excited.

ok now that you're excited. I'm tired and I have a little over a week to do a take home final for a class I got an incomplete two years ago. so at least I'm working on it. I think I still have a chance to get an "A". If so, I can reapply to the grad program in statistics. If I fail (not get an A). I promise to blog religiously. because I think writing is my only real love. I would call it a talent, but I'm not sure how talently I am. besides does the world really need another blogger? ok, I don't really care. I'd like to be that superfluous blogger that doesn't change the world in any way, maybe even making the world a little worse, annoying people, sharing stuff that shouldn't be shared, like vomiting, porn and masterbating. destroying the moral fabric of the next generation of Americans and all world citizens. but at least gets to write whatever he wants and that pays the bills.

speaking of which, yesterday was an eventful day for me. I saw a homeless guy, with a sign, "spare some change for a hooker, I'm sick of masterbating". I pretended that wasn't funny or unusual at all, just kinda of ignoring the guy, but I was definitely amused. these guys (homeless guys) scare me, but so does pretty much anyone "hanging out". I never learned that in junior high or high school or college. I don't know how to hang out and check out chicks walking by. I want to learn. can anyone teach me?

the other eventful occurrence yesterday was that I startle a skunk on my bike ride home (at ten pm.) luckily I didn't get sprayed, but I was worried.

I'm having a problem teaching, and this was actually something that initially stopped me from being a teacher. I get nervous around hot students, it kinda of inhibits my teaching. It's not that I have inappropriate thoughts. It's just that it's always been hard for me to communicate around and to attractive women, which is what teachers do. It's hard having hot girls in your class, I try not to stare, I hope I don't look at them disportionately to the other students. I have two weekend classes, which sucks, I hate having no weekend. it's hard to have as much fun during the week.

in addition to teaching, I've been using facebook. the positives you can reconnect with old friends. the negatives, everyone else is also there, kinda of like high school. it can be kinda of awkward. do I add this person or that person? I almost always say yes, if someone adds me, but I rarely add people unless I was really close to them. it's still awkward. there are times in my life that I would like to forget. facebook reminds me of those times. of course there are people that I would like to reconnect with, and facebook gives me that opportunity as well. it's a definitely a mixed blessing. I guess I kinda of live in an imaginary world, where there are only people I like in it, and the people that were just ok, don't exist. maybe I should accept that there are people in the world, classmates, that I'm just not friends with and that's ok. I still need to participate.

but, I do feel bad for high schoolers, that do most of their socializing on facebook. I hope that get to hang out in person enough. because ultimately internet connections just don't measure up to real life experiences.

I'm glad I didn't have the internet when I was in high school. I probably would have been whacking off to internet porn in high school and probably won't have been playing water polo or wrestling. who knows what would have happened to me? maybe I would be 33 with no car and still living with my parents. ok, I guess, it actually might not have made my life any worse. I definitely should have done more drugs, at least at this point. it couldn't have hurt.

GCNOF, Signing off, see you in September.

Erasing old voice mail

Hey all, I'm blogging again too. woo hoo.

Nothing too exciting. I deleted my voice messages today, from the last two months. There was the undergrad engineering student in my stats class that asked for my help with minitab, that I help only once.

That got me thinking: There was this older guy, seventy, kind of hard of hearing, definitely very social unaware, interrupting the professor, asking really random questions and random answers, who seem to be from the middle east. Even the professor told me how annoyed she was by him.

But after reading Kite Runner, I don't want to rule out that any older immigrant may have been in a position of power or a prominent figure in the community, who was forced by war to become, just another poor working class immigrant in the U.S. I love how reading can expand your mind and expose you to a deeper awareness.

I know in class this man had a fondness for generals. His statistics knowledge was great, but he was scared to use the computer. I wish he were able to get more help, I wish I was able to help him, but alas I was struggling to do just my own work. I wanted to him ask what he did back in his home country, but never got the chance. Maybe he will be in my program, if I ever get back in.

Then was also the phone message about the interview for the lab manager position at Stanford. That was a disaster. The first question was a killer, "Why is there a four year gap on your resume?" I never recovered. I don't know why they brought me in. but it wouldn't have been a good job for me, it was too far away and it wasn't going to be exciting enough.

Besides, I've got some work. I'm teaching my first GRE course on Sunday. hopefully I'll be prepared. there was also the message about ACT tutoring that I couldn't take, because The Review didn't train me to teach the ACT. next time, I'm just going to lie and say that I can teach it, buy a book, take the business and don't tell the Review. Please, if you work for the Review (Big Brother), please make a comment on my blog, so I know not to share. so far I swear, I haven't done anything inappropriate professionally.

E.g. Facebook says I should add a cute former student as a friend, but I have no idea why it suggests her? seems kind of random to me, thoughts on why it suggests her as a friend to me? those that have facebook expertise please chime in. don't worry, I'm not going to add her. although she is legal. Peace out. Safe travels. Safe parenting.

Musings on My first day in Ho Chi Minh City

The first thing you notice is the traffic. I don’t understand how half the city’s population has not been maimed or killed in a traffic accident. "Utterly crazy", does not even begin to describe the situation. It helps to understand that there are eight million people in Ho Chi Minh, and five million scooters. All the drivers care about is getting from point A to B as quickly as possible.
Almost anything is fair game on the road or sidewalk. Yes, the cars and scooters will go up on the sidewalk without warning. That is just how they roll. Walking is an extreme sport when you are in Ho Chi Minh.
Scooters are also willing to drive head first into oncoming traffic. If the scooter wants to go to a store on the other side on the street they just start going into oncoming traffic like it is no big deal. Magically, the cars and other scooters just go around them like there is nothing out of the ordinary. I was in a taxi today and we had scooters going the wrong way on either side of us.
However, nothing quite compares to the task of crossing the street. Possibly it is like the scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where Indy has to cross the invisible bridge using his faith. When you cross the street, you just start walking into traffic with the understanding that everything will probably avoid running you over. You literally just start walking into the intersection regardless of the traffic. As long as you steadily walk forward you are safe; if you hesitate you are more likely to get hit. More to come.
Peace Out