Hey it's that time of the month again. Yeah, time for my monthly blog update. Yay. Great. get excited.
ok now that you're excited. I'm tired and I have a little over a week to do a take home final for a class I got an incomplete two years ago. so at least I'm working on it. I think I still have a chance to get an "A". If so, I can reapply to the grad program in statistics. If I fail (not get an A). I promise to blog religiously. because I think writing is my only real love. I would call it a talent, but I'm not sure how talently I am. besides does the world really need another blogger? ok, I don't really care. I'd like to be that superfluous blogger that doesn't change the world in any way, maybe even making the world a little worse, annoying people, sharing stuff that shouldn't be shared, like vomiting, porn and masterbating. destroying the moral fabric of the next generation of Americans and all world citizens. but at least gets to write whatever he wants and that pays the bills.
speaking of which, yesterday was an eventful day for me. I saw a homeless guy, with a sign, "spare some change for a hooker, I'm sick of masterbating". I pretended that wasn't funny or unusual at all, just kinda of ignoring the guy, but I was definitely amused. these guys (homeless guys) scare me, but so does pretty much anyone "hanging out". I never learned that in junior high or high school or college. I don't know how to hang out and check out chicks walking by. I want to learn. can anyone teach me?
the other eventful occurrence yesterday was that I startle a skunk on my bike ride home (at ten pm.) luckily I didn't get sprayed, but I was worried.
I'm having a problem teaching, and this was actually something that initially stopped me from being a teacher. I get nervous around hot students, it kinda of inhibits my teaching. It's not that I have inappropriate thoughts. It's just that it's always been hard for me to communicate around and to attractive women, which is what teachers do. It's hard having hot girls in your class, I try not to stare, I hope I don't look at them disportionately to the other students. I have two weekend classes, which sucks, I hate having no weekend. it's hard to have as much fun during the week.
in addition to teaching, I've been using facebook. the positives you can reconnect with old friends. the negatives, everyone else is also there, kinda of like high school. it can be kinda of awkward. do I add this person or that person? I almost always say yes, if someone adds me, but I rarely add people unless I was really close to them. it's still awkward. there are times in my life that I would like to forget. facebook reminds me of those times. of course there are people that I would like to reconnect with, and facebook gives me that opportunity as well. it's a definitely a mixed blessing. I guess I kinda of live in an imaginary world, where there are only people I like in it, and the people that were just ok, don't exist. maybe I should accept that there are people in the world, classmates, that I'm just not friends with and that's ok. I still need to participate.
but, I do feel bad for high schoolers, that do most of their socializing on facebook. I hope that get to hang out in person enough. because ultimately internet connections just don't measure up to real life experiences.
I'm glad I didn't have the internet when I was in high school. I probably would have been whacking off to internet porn in high school and probably won't have been playing water polo or wrestling. who knows what would have happened to me? maybe I would be 33 with no car and still living with my parents. ok, I guess, it actually might not have made my life any worse. I definitely should have done more drugs, at least at this point. it couldn't have hurt.
GCNOF, Signing off, see you in September.
