broken strings

Notice I'm in a good mood? (rhetorical question, how could you?) I'm listening to James Morrison's Broken Strings (featuring Nelly Furtado), for like the tenth time in a row. I plan to play this song until I'm sick of it or have to go to bed, whichever happens first.

I'm still in a relationship with GD (initials changed to protect the innocent). It's on again. I wonder if the only way this woman won't let me go, is that I'm not that into her, and therefore, I'm setting good boundaries. If I'm ever in different relationship, it will be a good model to emulate. at least that's what I think. Don't be that into her and basically do what I want and make sure to do things without her, don't care what she thinks (about me), be relaxed, have no fear of rejection, just be comfortable.... of course this has created a problem on its own... especially as I have gotten further into the relationship. I do have this fear.... ideally there is this thing called love. You know where you give all of yourself to someone and they do likewise to you.

I'm guessing, just guessing, but that connection makes sex, seem like a PC compared to a Mac or a Pontiac Fiat compared to a Ferrari, or that Mercury coupe that they don't make anymore compared to a Madza Miata. Or the BCS college bowl games compared to March Madness. (sorry having too much fun with these analogies). or Jennifer Love Hewitt horror movies compared to Neve Campbell horror movies. or Kaplan compared to The Princeton Review (although Kaplan does hook its employees up with free movie previews).

back to the point I was making about love and my current relationship. I think it will be hard to build a foundation of trust, real trust and commitment necessary for, you know, the heavens open up and a white light shines through, kind of love, I was kinda hoping for (think the scenes in Ghost, when a person dies and his or her soul gets into heaven. and the white light shines down). Just because, it is based on me, pretty much not caring. I don't know, maybe I will start to care... I don't know. GD, certainly has a good strategy, make me stay around until I figure out that I need to care and start worrying about what she thinks, either then maybe we can have that "Ghost" type of connection. or maybe she decides I was a much better BF to her, when I didn't care. I guess this will be good information to have either way.

Broken Strings, by James Morrison, check it out on Youtube. I'm listening it to one last time, and then I'm going to bed. Peace out. maybe I really will start to blog more regularly. I don't even remember what my other resolutions were, oh yeah. get a regular job. and move out of my parent's house... like that will ever happen.