I got nothing better to do

Ever crash a dinner party? me neither. but I came close tonight.

A little background: Last night I went to a shabbat dinner. The hardest part about a shabbat dinner for me is where to sit. Ideally, you sit next to the really hot chick, that's not the rabbi's daughter (she's really cute, but I don't have the guts to do that). I guess I haven't mastered that part of the dinner. because while everyone is jocking for a hot girl, I usually wind up at the corner table with a bunch of guys too chicken to go for the girls. These guys that I sat next to reminded me of my brother's smart friends in high school, really smart, but not necessarily a hit with the ladies (what do I really know, though?). They were just happy to be with each other. I was there because when we stopped moving the chairs, I was left at this table. In fact there were two empty seats at the table, one to the left of me and one to the right of me. The women there obviously don't have the same ideal sitting strategy as I do. Things have a way of working out sometimes.

A guy that reminded me of a friend from high school sits next to me, pretty WASPy looking for a jewish event. Light brown or blonde hair, strong facial structure (whatever that means.) Very endearing smile. average height. we hit it off, both liberal, both former students at GW, with a small connection of western Massachusetts. We talk politics and it turns out he's headed to Cambodia for the Peace Corps. He invites me to his dinner party which was tonight. so I'm thinking I don't have other plans. There are so many times I've met someone once, and didn't follow it up, usually this involves hanging out with a random guy. I guess it's just kinda weird, awkward. This time, I'll give it a shot. which is how I got invited to a dinner party from a guy I met the previous night.

Going to a party knowing only one person. and going solo. I've found I do better mixing solo than otherwise, no one to fall on, but no one to hold you back either. forces you to mix. but then there is no wingman. no one to voucher that you're not a child molester or worse. so i went with a six-pack of delicious Sam Adams to my friends former house and was the last guest to leave. I was having a good time. I guess I could have left earlier, but I had nothing better to do and was having a good time. I briefly talked with a girl that was from Kenya. I met a guy and a girl that went to Earlham and knew of Cousin B. Had some good sports discussions ultimate frisbee and football with the guy BE. Befriended a pretty cute girl that went to Wooster. It went surprisingly well. A new friend? we'll see. a good night definitely.

So I am gearing up for job applications, finishing up reading some books and getting ready for J's wedding. in response to last week's post about blowing it with a nice girl. I pulled off something so pathetic even George Costanza wouldn't do it. I was talking to this really nice girl and she's flirts, " so you are not usually the dominant one in a relationship?" and I couldn't answer her. I guess dominance is something that I don't usually notice. but I guess she guess correctly. I'm not usually the dominant one in a relationship. ok. 50/50. I don't usually think of myself as a dominant male. I think I could be. I think I just try not to be anything. neither dominant or submissive. anyway, that breaks up the conversation.

I mope about it. having had two full drinks for the night, which is a lot for me and go back to her to say something about her comment, and she says she was just joking and all I could say was "do you think it's ok for a guy to cry? I think I'm going to cry." I have no idea why I felt that or said that. You should have seen her, she was really weirded out. Interested before, disinterested afterwards. she didn't want to give me her number, but she did anyways. called back to tell me she wasn't interested, was in a relationship. I can't figure out why? That (I think I'm going to Cry) was something one of the kids at Manice said at the closing campfire. Of course he said "just kidding" at the end of it.

I usually cry at movies, even bad ones like Coyote Ugly. But I never cry at a bar, over something a girl says. Maybe I really am not a dominant guy. I need to come to terms with that. (Hence the dejected dog)

Any dominatrix interested in a submissive male aged 30? you must have a steady source of income or be independently wealthy and have a stable place of residence (the second is really optional).